Single & Searching: Things you just might want to know….

in-love-1This is originally an advice I gave to a male friend of mine during a chat we had via BBM. He insisted I put it together in one piece so it can be shared with others so here you all have it!


A little background information…..


He’s contemplating getting married within the next one year, he’s attempted several relationships both online and offline but he’s not getting what he desires, and so he sought for my thoughts on the issue and any counsel I may have for him.


My thoughts to my friend…..


If your question is ‘where can I possibly find the kind I want? What kind of places will she be at? How and where can I search’? Then, you need to know this!


With the advent of the internet and BBM, It’s common place that people meet their lovers on such platforms and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. It’s worked for me a lot but truth is it’s really easy to spend time chatting with a particular person and over a period of time, feelings start to evolve and one thing leads to the other and without even realizing it, a relationship has been implied, no ‘wooing’ – just quick to enter, quick to get out. There are exceptional cases though!


I would rather you focus on someone you can see so as to really ascertain those things you really want and thus have a real life example to also infer the qualities you don’t want. Someone who you can meet and analyze at first to see if you share similar goals and dreams and determining whether if after finding out your partner’s daily habits or quirks she is acceptable to you.


The Bible also states that ‘he who finds a wife finds a good thing’, problem here is you have got to DO the finding! She won’t walk up to you, as a pastor once explained, if A doesn’t work out, try B-Z!  But of course, finding doesn’t mean struggling to win her over, you have got to realize this that the fact one person wants something real bad doesn’t mean that the other does too! Why kill yourself over a particular person? I personally am opposed to the school of thought that there’s such a thing as ‘the one’, I believe there are several convenient matches that might be appropriate for you, despite that, every other option would be a matter of its feasibility.


Also, I share the opinion that the kind of place you look for a lady would be instrumental to the quality of lady you would find. Depending on your circumstances, you could take a closer look at the single ladies in your Church, Work place, School, Neighbourhood, and so on. Ask a friend to hook you up with someone nice; some people find their spouses in awkward situations – in a bus, at the bank, at a wedding, at a shop, and so on. There are no clear-cut, distinct places to shop for a spouse. Wherever you find yourself, just be open to new experiences. You could be eager, but DON’T be desperate. Just the same Vigor you employ in getting a job, invest about half of it and search for her anywhere, anytime. It would be worth it!

By Ejiro Ariodere.

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