Lanre Farotimi, Founder, TheIntelliResource Limited
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway.
What does it take for you to trust me? You probably have to be able to rely on me, and to know that I will do what I say I will do. Building trust requires telling the truth and being transparent. What is the benefit of trust? When we have trust in the relationship we can work together effectively and combine both of our resources to create something bigger than we could do by ourselves. So what happens when there is no trust in a relationship? You could say that without it, little or no relationship is possible. It’s almost impossible to work effectively together without mutual respect. Much time and energy is wasted in second guessing, and speculating on the other person’s motives and intentions.
Building trust is a process that begins when one party is willing to risk being the first to ante up, being the first to show vulnerability, and being the first to let go of control. If you are a leader, the first to trust has to be you. If you, as a leader, show a willingness to trust others, your team members will be more likely to trust you. You must conduct yourself in a manner worthy of trust at all times.
To build trust in your organization:
- Share information about you, who you are and what you believe in
- Admit mistakes, none of us are perfect and people will forgive you if they see you trying to aspire to the high standards you set.
- Acknowledge the need for personal development
- Seek feedback, and treat it as a gift and say ‘Thank You’.
- Take feedback to the source, avoid ‘corridor conversations’
- Listen carefully to what others have to say and sometimes what they are not saying
- Share information that is useful
- Celebrate other people’s successes, this is very important. Make sure the team or individuals get the recognition for their work…don’t take credit for other people’s good work or when things go wrong, don’t let them take the fall
- Encourage people to contribute
- Show you are willing to change your mind when others have a good idea
- Avoid talking negatively about others; say ”we trust them” and mean it
Trustworthiness is in the eye of the beholder. To build trust your team must see that you have their best interests at heart. It means that you don’t want to see them get hurt, be embarrassed, feel harassed or suffer. You want them to be happy, fulfill their potential and succeed. This may seem like a risk….but it is one worth taking.
Some handy tips:
- Be authentic and real. If there is something you are not saying and covering up, there is a good chance the other person will know you are doing that – it will leak out in your body language and tone of voice. They might not be able to put their finger on it or explain exactly why they don’t believe you are being truthful, but they will have an instinctive, intuitive feeling that they cannot trust you.
- Don’t gossip or speculate on someone else’s motivations and intentions. Don’t have the conversation with someone else, have the conversation with the person…take it back to the source. Show openness and consistency in your behaviour, and demonstrate a strong moral ethic.
- Do not assume…it means: making an ass of you and me!
- If trust has been broken it can be recovered. You need to apologize for your side of where the trust got lost, be open and honest and sincerely regretful for the part you played in the relationship break down.
- Identify which relationships you could work on.
- Spend some time with people you might not as readily trust.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” - George MacDonald.
To Build Trust, You Must Show Love!