Southern Brands engaged this unique young man via BBM on what his perspectives are on first dates; how should they be taken? should they be prepared for? what about making remarkable impressions? and lots of other issues. Below are his submissions on first dates. Enjoy reading and remember to leave your comments!
My Perspective on first dates – Olumide Odewole
- First dates are usually about making impressions. In many cases, it is the man that’s expected to make the most impressions.
- Though unspoken, a woman wants to feel that the man she’s with has not only thought about the date, but also prepared accordingly.
- The lady has expectations, cutting across a wide range of issues, including etiquettes, choice of discussion topics, your interest in her etc.
- You’ll most likely do most of the talking.
1. Prepare for the date: Except it’s an “on the spot” kind of date, where there was no prior notice, plan and prepare for a date. Essentially, your plan should cover the expectations of the lady, as highlighted above. If you already know some details about this woman, use the information to your advantage. For example, you may meet her with a purple coloured flower (as against the conventional rose), if her favorite color is purple. Or, if she’s of a more intellectual persuasion, starting the date by offering her a copy of your favorite book might stack the odds in your favor. The key is creativity – she’ll be impressed if you’ve shown that you not only got her something, but that you thought about her while doing it.
2. Etiquette is priority
It’s the little details that make the difference, like chewing with your mouth closed, “offering” to open the door for her etc.
3. Be complimentary: Notice and compliment your date’s appearance. There must be something about her outfit, her hair or the way she smells that you like. The chances that she spent a good portion of her time preparing for this first date are very high, and it’s important that you acknowledge her efforts. In some cases, you may need to make your date feel comfortable (if she’s not). You know how comfortable a woman is from what she orders and how elegantly she combines with talking. If you noticed she’s not comfortable, provide the comfort.
4. Conversations: As mentioned earlier, your date would leave you to do most of the talking. This is usually very difficult, as it would require a lot of creativity to keep conversations going. Be careful about the topics you bring up for discussion. If she doesn’t bring up the stuffs usually associated with males, please don’t bring then up – sports, politics etc. It is always best to ask her questions about work, education, hobbies etc. Do not talk so much about yourself (all the things you’ve accomplished etc) while neglecting to ask her about her interests. That could be a huge turn-off. A few awkward pauses are better than a monologue. So be sure to ask her about herself; just don’t turn it into an interview. When she talks listen, and ask only relevant questions, relating to the subject being discussed. Try not to – her allow a silent moment more than 10 seconds, as it may get awkward and interests start to dwindle.
5. Don’t be aggressive: Confidence is very important, but it shouldn’t be shown in an aggressive manner. This is not only required for your interaction with your date, but with everyone you’d come in contact with during the date – waiter, other road users etc.
6. Ending the date: Thank her for her time etc, and tell her some other sweet stuffs. Offer to take her home (that’s if she didn’t come in her own car). Walk her to her gate (or door); don’t ask to come in, if she wants she’ll ask. Thank her again, and go to your house.